They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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