look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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