man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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