..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
