You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
