In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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