Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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