She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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