pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
