You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
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THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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