i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
