Its about making memories worth repressing
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
