So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
barbara walters just said penis...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
