I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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