I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
