Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
