I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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