Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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