I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize