Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
