You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
