I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
