i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
