I'm going to jail i love you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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