Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
