she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
