so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
