i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize