the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
