oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
