hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
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we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
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Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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