The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drake has all the answers
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
