she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
