woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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