well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
