I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
