Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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