so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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