Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
