So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
