Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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