he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
