In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
