Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
