I wish I only lived at night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
