you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
