I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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