Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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