Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What changed your mind?
Being sober
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
