Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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