Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
