This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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