**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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