I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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