What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
