so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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