next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize