when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
