I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
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I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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