I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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