I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
